Tina Stewart did not die in vain

On March 2, Tina Stewart was found fatally stabbed in her apartment at Middle Tennessee State University. Tina was so full of life, and she would have had an incredible future. She played basketball and excelled academically. She loved her family, her God, and her friends.

I was never especially close to Tina. I went to school with Tina for a little while, and we always spoke to each other in passing. That means I also went to school with the woman who has been charged with her murder, and I knew her on about the same level. Because of this, the situation hit very close to home for me - a little too close. I have realized that this could have happened to me or to any one of my friends. It could have happened to ANYONE.

Tina's death has recently reminded me just how short life is, and it has shown me that I need to live mine a little differently.

Life is extremely precious, and it should be treasured. I am blessed with the opportunity to be creating positive change right now. I've made the decision to get more involved in my community, and I have taken the beginning steps to make that happen.

Some people are blessed with a hundred years on this earth. Others are gone before they cry for the first time. I've come to see that the length of your life is not important. It's what you do with it that counts - the impact you have on the people around you.

Everyone leaves something behind, and Tina is a wonderful example of how to leave something beautiful. She might be gone from this world, but she is still impacting the lives of others.

I hope knowing Tina will always be remembered, loved, and appreciated for the way she lived her life will be of some comfort to her family. God bless them all.



The Stewart family is traveling back and forth quite a bit for all of the court hearings, and, as I'm sure you can imagine, doing so is not cheap. No one can take away the pain of losing a child or sister, but we can help ease the financial burden for this family. Please consider making a donation to a fund set up for them at Regions Bank. Go to any Regions Bank location and let them know you'd like to donate to the "In Loving Memory of Tina Stewart" fund.

The Criminalization of Islam in America: What's Really Happening

On September 11, 2010, I had the opportunity to be present at a local mosque during the time of praying that marks the Eid al-Fitr holiday. (Yes, I most certainly went to a mosque on 09/11.) Afterward, leaders in the Muslim community answered any questions non-Muslims wanted to ask them. It probably took a lot of faith to invite non-Muslims into their mosque on such an important Islamic holiday, not knowing what could potentially happen. Let me just tell you - it was SO beautiful. I saw passion and dedication. I saw a group of people who just wanted to clear the air and be absolutely sure there was correct information getting out into the public about their religion. With so much hatred being directed at those who practice Islam, I can see why it must have been important for them to do it.

The push to criminalize Islam in America is an important issue to me partly for the same reason it should be to everyone - it goes against the First Amendment of the Constitution.

First Amendment:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

The Supreme Court (SC) decided this was a good enough reason to protect the right to protest at military funerals (ie: half of the "good work" members at Westboro Baptist Church do). Protesting at funerals is, more than likely, disturbing the peace - not peacefully assembling. The First Amendment does not directly lay down instructions for this, so the SC had to interpret the law.

The FA does, however, lay down specific instruction about religion. It's all in that tiny bit that talks about Congress making no law against an establishment of religion or making a law against practicing any religion. So then how is it feasible to ban Islam?

It's not a stretch to say the legislation currently being pushed is led by the religious right, which only consists of people masquerading as Christians. They get away with it by portraying themselves as holy and everyone else as less-than.

Earlier I said the new bills that are intended to ban Islam bothered me partly because of their inability to gel with the Constitution. The other reason? There are Muslims whom I love dearly. It's just not right to demonize them for what a small group of people masquerading as Muslims did over 10 years ago. (Wait, wait! Did anyone else notice I mentioned TWO groups of people masquerading as members of a religion?)

I'm tired of fake people (see "religious right") ruining our country to make themselves look better. Talk about the Devil being alive and thriving!

American Muslims did nothing to you. Stop the demonization of innocent people!


Rant over.

My MGLCC Story

During the past 2.5 years, I have had the pleasure of meeting a lot of the most wonderful people I have ever encountered in my life. Most (certainly not all) of them are friends I made through some type of connection to the Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center.

The first day I went to MGLCC, I was a nervous 16 year old who had no idea what my sexuality was. All I knew was I felt like I needed to seek out people who had positive feelings toward LGBT people. (Since then, I've come into my sexuality, and I'm VERY proud to be a straight ally. Nowadays, I have so many gay friends that I sometimes forget that I'm straight.)

It was a cloudy mid-September day. The moment I walked into the building, I felt this weird sense, and it occurred to me that even though I had never been to this place before, I felt so at home there. I met three people I will always love - Will "Ouiser" Batts, Autumn "Mama"/"Audy" Falconer, and THE Rohbi. I don't remember much else about that day, other than leaving with a smile on my face and a lot of relief. I knew from that moment there were people who would always care, regardless of whatever I ended up discovering about myself. I felt comfortable to continue growing into myself as a person.

I dove into things head first that year - youth nights, rallies, encouraging people to vote for equality, vigils for those killed in hate crimes, etc. I just started meeting all of these incredible people. I had friends coming out of my ears - wonderful, fabulous friends.

Along the way from that first day until now, I've slowly picked up an entire chosen family. The ones I didn't meet at MGLCC/through MGLCC/through someone I knew from MGLCC I most likely only met because of the influence MGLCC had on my life.

Looking back on the creation of this family makes me a little emotional, because I never could have imagined having this whole family of crazy, loving, dramatic, supportive, sweet, beautiful people in my life when I was walking up the steps at MGLCC the first time. Now I can't imagine my life without every single one of them in it.

Life is challenging, and I've been going through a lot during the past several months. However, I haven't forgotten how blessed I am to have this amazing group of friends. They've been with me through the best of times and the worst of times.

MGLCC saves lives every day. I'm still convinced they saved mine. Without them, I'd most likely be so deep into a depression that nothing could ever pull me out. I hope everyone will consider donating to MGLCC - every time you donate, you're saving a life. Go to mglcc.org to donate or find out more information about Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center.



Feel free to post a link to this anywhere you'd like, if you would like to share it with friends.





If anyone homophobic is reading this, let me make a few things CRYSTAL clear...

1) I don't care what hateful comments you have - keep that shxt to yourself.
2) Before you even TRY to start some mess - no one at MGLCC ever told me what to think. I formed my own opinions.
3) You mess with my friends, you mess with me. DON'T test me.

Different Way to Stand

“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand.”
–Oprah Winfrey

I love this quote from Oprah! It has recently helped me get out of the funk that set in about the time I was involved in a car accident in late September. That accident changed my life, but not in the way you'd typically think. There were no wheelchairs or hospital stays involved. I did have to go to physical therapy, but physically I'm exactly where I was before the accident happened.

When I was a little girl I dreamed about going to college. While my classmates were thinking about what to wear to school the next day (this was pre-boring uniforms), I was planning out every aspect of my college career - where to go, what to study, etc. I understood from an early age that no matter what happened to me, I would better myself and get out of the situation I was growing up in. My college dreams stayed with me through the years, though specific plans changed repeatedly as I began to discover myself. There was an on-and-off period when I thought about trade school vs. college, but I always came back to the college plans.

After that car accident, I had to withdraw from school for the semester. I can't even tell you how depressing it was to lose everything I'd ever wanted in an instant and have to watch as everyone else continued. Along with withdrawing came the loss of financial aid, and that created a financial black hole big enough to swallow me whole. I later found out I couldn't even go back to school in January.

Somewhere during the process of losing everything that had consumed my life, my brain got its wires crossed. I felt like a complete failure, and I was so afraid of failing again that I almost gave up on my dream of becoming a journalist and on everything else. I was crying all the time and being extremely pathetic in general. It finally got to the point where I hit rock bottom.

The next thing I knew Oprah was on television saying something very encouraging (not the quote I have at the beginning, but one similar). I realized then that I had never failed at all. I had been thrown a curve ball in life, and instead of swinging my bat differently, I just stood there cowering at home plate. I had a choice to make: I could cower for the rest of my life and truly be a failure, or I could fight like hell all the way back to success.

I have chosen to fight, and that's where I'm at in life right now. I'm in the middle of this gigantic struggle to get back in school and start making the first of many dreams come true. Like I said, this really is a struggle, so if you talk to me and I'm a little pathetic, you'll have to take that into consideration and forgive me.

I wanted to write this to catch my followers up on all the little details. For a long time, I didn't want to blog because I thought the world would see me as the failure I thought I was, but those days are over and gone. Start looking for my blog again!

Chelsea Handler is bringing grammar back.

I can't ever get enough of this yellow-haired Jew. I feel like she is an extension of myself. I like grammar and dancing Latino nuggets, too.

First College Test = Success

So, as most of you read previously on facebook, I had my first college-level test today in my American Government class, and I got an A! I'm sorry to be bragging, but you know what? I deserve to brag a little. I worked hard for that grade, and I'm pretty proud of myself.

It's special to me. Getting this A really showed me what I'm capable of. I'm a smart girl, and I'm capable of succeeding at college. It's just more proof that I don't need to worry. I GOT THIS. I can and will do well. Watch me!

Now, if you see me saying these things after Friday when I have my second test, that's fabulous. If you see me saying it after next Thursday when I have the third one in philosophy, then we'll really talk about major success.

In other news: I want to go to Calgary. The pictures on my wall are all crooked. And the elevators in this building suck.


Considering the idea of adding features to my blog - ex. a featured video of the week; What the Hell Wednesdays with weird news; etc. DISCUSS.

Day 30 - A Letter To Myself

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

As you can see, for the final day of my blogging program, I have to write a letter to myself. Considering that it's late and tomorrow I have to get up really early, I'm just going to focus on the letter for today's blog.


Dear Paula,

I love that you are opinionated and never hesitate to tell everyone what you think. I love your spirit and your sweet but feisty personality. You're much smarter than you usually like to think, and I love that you can hold your own in a conversation, a debate, or an argument. I love your straight-forwardness and how you try to be as open with people as you can be to show them who you are. I love your sense of humor. I love your lack of fear when it comes to doing things that other people would be too scared to do and your excess of fear when it comes to the simple things. I love that you care so deeply about people, things, places, and what you are doing. I love that you're a perfectionist, even if it annoys the hell out of me sometimes. I love your creativity and your wild ideas. I love your dreams and your courage. I love your ability to make friends anywhere and everywhere you go. I love how overly humble you can be sometimes, while all the time knowing deep-down that you are completely fabulous. I love your hobbies, your favorites, likes, and dislikes. I love your great observational skills and your ability to read people. I love that you are in college trying to make something out of yourself and follow your dreams. I love you, and I think you're pretty great.


Love,
Paula?